Two men met at a bus stop and struck up a conversation.One of them kept complaining of family problems.
Finally the other man said: “You think you
have family problems?
Listen to my situation.
A few years ago I met a young widow with a grown up daughter.
We got married and I got myself a step-daughter.
Later, my father married mystep-daughter.
That made my step daughter my step-mother.
And my father became my step-son.
Also my wife became mother-in-law of her father-in-law.
Much later the daughter of my wife, my step-mother, had ason. This boy was my half brother because he was my father’s son.
But hewas also the son of my wife’s daughter which made him my wife’s grand-son.
That made me the grandfather of my half brother.
This was nothing until my wife and I had a son.
Now the half sister of my son, my step-mother, is also his grandmother. This makes my father thebrother-in-law of my child, whose step-sister is my father’s wife.
I am my step-mother’s brother-in-law, my wife is her own child’s aunt, my son is my father’s nephew and I am my OWN GRAND-FATHER!!!!!!!!!!
And you thinkyou have FAMILY PROBLEMS!!!!!!!!!

A young lawyer, in the process of opening a new private practice, was very anxious to impress potential clients.

Upon seeing a man enter the lobby of his office, he immediately picked up his phone and spoke into it, “Eight hundred thousand dollars? You’re kidding me. You’re going to have to do better than that. Our bottom line for settlement is a million. Don’t waste my time with anything less.”

Slamming down the phone, he then turned to the man who had just walked in, and said, “Now, what can I do for you?”

“Nothing,” replied the man. “I’m here to hook up your phone.” .

A Grandpa and a Grandma always got very excited when they recalled the old days they were together. They made a decision, one day, to make it ‘yesterday once more’. They made a date on the river bank they used to go when they were young. The next day, grandpa got up 6 a.m. in the morning, dashed to the bank, picked up a big bunch of wild flowers before sunrise, waited there for his sweetheart to come. But Grandpa ended up in disappointment as Grandma never showed up even after sunset. Grandpa went home in such anger. He opened the door, seeing Grandma lying on the sofa with her pillow. He threw the flowers on the floor and questioned:
‘ Why didn’t you come to our date?!!’
Grandma hid her head in the pillow and replied shyly: ‘ Mom didn’t allow me to go…’

Introductory Chemistry was taught at Duke University for many years by professor Bonk. One year, two guys took the class and did pretty well on all the quizzes and mid-terms–so much so that going into the final, they each had a solid A. These two friends were so confident going into the final that the weekend before finals week, despite the Chemistry final being on Monday, they decided to go to the Uuniversity of Virginina
to party with some friends.

They did this and had a great time.
However, with their hangovers and
tiredness, they overslept all day
Sunday and didn’t make it back to
Duke until early Monday morning.
Rather than taking the final then,
they found professor Bonk after the
final and explained to him how they
missed the final. They told him they
went up to the University of Virgina
for the weekend and had planned to
come back in time to study, but they
had a flat tire on the way back and
didn’t have a spare. They couldn’t
fix it for a long time and were
late getting back to campus.

Bonk thought this over and agreed
that they could take the final the
following day. The two guys, elated
and relieved, studied that night and
went in the next day at the time that
Bonk had told them. He placed them
in separate rooms and handed each of
them a test booklet. He told them to
begin.

They looked at the first problem
which was something simple about
molarity and solutions; it was worth
5 points. “Cool,” they thought, “this
is going to be an easy final”. They
then turned the page. They were
unprepared, however, for what they
saw on it. The question contained
only two words: (95 points) Which
tire?